Where are you from?

How many times have you been asked this over the years and what do you reply?

I take a deep breath and say, "Well, i was born in Brisbane but my Dad joined the RAAF when i was just 4 months old" ..i pause.. and continue with a quick mumble of "and then we lived all over the place."

The pause, followed by the quick fading mumble, is a result of experiencing that well known glazed over look in the eyes of the person who asked the question.  I used to have a longer reply that went something like "and we lived all over the place, so i don't really consider myself a Brisbanite, or a Queenslander for that matter, actually i'm not really from anywhere."

I learned to stop myself when i saw that glazed over look, hearing the voice in my head saying "stop jo, stop now, they aren't interested and you've lost them, save yourself, don't say any more." 

Thats where the pause comes in, it helps me to know if its time to listen to that voice and the mumble is when it is too late and i couldn't stop the words coming so they just faded out to nothingness. 

What is our Identity as ex dependents of Australian and New Zealand Defence Force Personal? 

Do we have one?

The 'ex' in ex-dependants suggests that something is over, out of, and we certainly aren't dependents of our Fathers anymore, some may have never had contact with Military in any form since their Fathers 'got out' or when they left home and became independent.  I left home when i was 17 and my Father retired from the RAAF in 1986 after 23 years of service, with another 3 or 4 years as a Reservist, yet i still consider myself a Brat.

Why?  Because Brat is my place of origin, my home base, my upbringing therefore way of life.

We humans culturally differentiate as a means to understand each other (or show our ignorance's) We use our senses to sum up another.  The way they look, their accent, sometimes the way they smell, allows us to decide how to communicate with them, rightly or wrongly, consciously or unconsciously.  Whether they be from a different country, a different part of the country we live in, city, suburban or country folk, generally this determines what kind of person they are and how we will interact with them.  Be they friend or foe?  

What our senses first tell us is confirmed with some questions or if we wait until they voluntarily tell us themselves. 

Our place of origin backs up that all too human first impressions thing, it can define us or contradict the whole theory, never-the-less, we use it.  With pride or shame we announce where we grew up to show the world why we think the way we do, what culture, environment and influences shaped us to be the people we are today.

I don't have a one word location, it can't be found on a map, not even in a street directory.  Where i am from doesn't physically exist.

I am, however, a product of a particular culture, a very different and somewhat  hidden culture, perhaps even invisible, because in my post Vietnam War youth, the Military wasn't thought of by the civilian population the way it is perceived and welcomed today.

The culture i belong to, has a language of its own, it has no defined religious beliefs, its people have an adaptive resilience and a unique understanding of the world and human behavior.  

We are the product of our Military Fathers and our Military Wife Mothers, but the Brat culture was formed, shaped and created by and for us because we didn't feel as if we fit in anywhere else. 

A culture which is ours, strongly influenced but not fully understood by our parents and the Australian and New Zealand Defence Force.

No flag to fly, no anthem to sing, no sacred ground to rest when our time on earth is up. No bugle will play at our funerals yet the sound of the last post hits the very core of our being in a way we will never be able to describe nor explain.  

There is a sense of pride within our culture. I don't dare compare with those of our Fathers, but we have our stories, our fair share of battle wounds and glories, we served our time as the brats of Defence Servicemen.

We earned the title and wear it with pride, but it means nothing to anyone but you and I.

Where are you from? they ask. 

I'm from nowhere, I'm a Military Brat, says I.