From around the age of 8 i learned how painful the word Good bye can be. Pre pack and Uplift out of the way, we were leaving Melbourne posted to Amberley RAAF Base (Qld) I had just started to make some friendships, just started to learn the meaning of friendship, and we had to go.
The station wagon packed up, in the back three little girls, two bassett hounds, some birds and a penny turtle, we drove off that night after the removalists left. I loved the road trips, i still do, but i clearly remember how i felt as we drove out of the suburb we'd lived in for the past 3 years.
I'm never going to see them again.
Ugh, the devastation, the trauma, the drama of an 8 year old little girl. We'll write to each other, i thought, its ok we will keep in touch, we said we would. I watched the little world i'd known disappear from sight as i lay in the back of the station wagon (we could do that in those days) and looked out the window until i could only see stars in the sky.
Arriving at our destiny the norm was to find temporary accommodation, usually a motel, until a house became available and you also had to wait for the removalists to show up with your belongings.
There was a new house and backyard to explore, boxes to unpack, neighbourhoods to get acquainted with, kids to say hello to and of course a new school to get ready for. New sounds, streets, faces, names and most probably new weather to become aclimatised to.
Time passed, the pain of those Goodbyes faded. You were so busy being the new kid on the block that you never did get around to writing that letter you promised your friend from the last posting... with all your heart - "pinky promise, cross my heart."
I ask myself today, has this process of Hello/Goodbyes throughout our young lives affected how we perceive friendships, relationships and meaningful relationships in our adult years?
Did it have an impact? Should it have? and is that a good or bad thing?
I think statistics say that no matter what kind of upbringing you had it depends on a number of other factors. We're all going to respond differently to different circumstances and situations for different reasons.
A number of Brats have asked me if i know the statistics on Brats failure rate of relationships. I don't, but i could do some research on that, it might be interesting.
I don't want to look at the negatives of a Brats upbringing though, i think its a frutille exercise. We are who we are, we experienced life the way we did - because we did. Our Fathers career was chosen before we were born, or because we were born ...they wanted to give us a better life than they had. They wanted their children to experience life, the good and the bad, in hope to shape us into thinking feeling beings. Sure, there are Brats out there who might say their Fathers didn't think like that nor realize the consequences of their career choice to their Family.
Lets face it though, i know that you know that it takes a particular type of man to swear their allegiance to Queen and Country - "so help me God". How could they possibly foresee the effect that would have on their Family, especially if they grew up a Civi, but there was something different about them from the average Civi, there had to be. They were risk takers, adventurers, honorable men, they dared to step out of the world they knew and into the unknown. Loyalty and commitment must have been important to them, or if it wasn't, it soon would be after they signed on the dotted line to Serve their country. I like to think that they wouldn't have been accepted if someone hadn't seen those qualities in them..or even an inkling of them.
So you were most likely already destined for a somewhat 'different' life from the norm, and the women they married, your Mothers, must have had some appreciation of those qualities at some point in time.
How we embraced or rejected the life we were born into, as with anyone from any walk of life, would determine how we coped or struggled and ultimately how we live our lives today.
to be continued...
