Hello...Goodbye

From around the age of 8 i learned how painful the word Good bye can be.   Pre pack and Uplift out of the way, we were leaving Melbourne posted to Amberley RAAF Base (Qld) I had just started to make some friendships, just started to learn the meaning of friendship, and we had to go.

The station wagon packed up, in the back three little girls, two bassett hounds, some birds and a penny turtle, we drove off that night after the removalists left.  I loved the road trips, i still do, but i clearly remember how i felt as we drove out of the suburb we'd lived in for the past 3 years.

I'm never going to see them again.

Ugh, the devastation, the trauma, the drama of an 8 year old little girl.  We'll write to each other, i thought, its ok we will keep in touch, we said we would.  I watched the little world i'd known  disappear from sight as i lay in the back of the station wagon (we could do that in those days)  and looked out the window until i could only see stars in the sky.

Arriving at our destiny the norm was to find temporary accommodation, usually a motel, until a house became available and you also had to wait for the removalists to show up with your belongings. 

There was a new house and backyard to explore, boxes to unpack, neighbourhoods to get acquainted with, kids to say hello to and of course a new school to get ready for.  New sounds, streets, faces, names and most probably new weather to become aclimatised to.

Time passed, the pain of those Goodbyes faded. You were so busy being the new kid on the block that you never did get around to writing that letter you promised your friend from the last posting... with all your heart - "pinky promise, cross my heart."

I ask myself today, has this process of Hello/Goodbyes throughout our young lives affected how we perceive friendships, relationships and meaningful relationships in our adult years? 

Did it have an impact? Should it have? and is that a good or bad thing?

I think statistics say that no matter what kind of upbringing you had it depends on a number of other factors.  We're all going to respond differently to different circumstances and situations for different reasons.

A number of Brats have asked me if i know the statistics on Brats failure rate of relationships.  I don't, but i could do some research on that, it might be interesting.

   

I don't want to look at the negatives of a Brats upbringing though, i think its a frutille exercise.  We are who we are, we experienced life the way we did - because we did.  Our Fathers career was chosen before we were born, or because we were born ...they wanted to give us a better life than they had.  They wanted their children to experience life, the good and the bad, in hope to shape us into thinking feeling beings.  Sure, there are Brats out there who might say their Fathers didn't think like that nor realize the consequences of their career choice to their Family.  

Lets face it though, i know that you know that it takes a particular type of man to swear their allegiance to Queen and Country - "so help me God".  How could they possibly foresee the effect that would have on their Family, especially if they grew up a Civi, but there was something different about them from the average Civi, there had to be. They were risk takers, adventurers, honorable men, they dared to step out of the world they knew and into the unknown.  Loyalty and commitment must have been important to them, or if it wasn't, it soon would be after they signed on the dotted line to Serve their country.  I like to think that they wouldn't have been accepted if someone hadn't seen those qualities in them..or even an inkling of them.

So you were most likely already destined for a somewhat 'different' life from the norm, and the women they married, your Mothers, must have had some appreciation of those qualities at some point in time.

How we embraced or rejected the life we were born into, as with anyone from any walk of life, would determine how we coped or struggled and ultimately how we live our lives today.

to be continued...

There's Something in the Water!

There is one stand out memory talked about the most by the Brats i went to school with in Woodlands.

To those who remember  watching 'Jaws' at the Fernleaf in 1976, as referenced in my last blog, this is for you....

I couldn't resist.

Turn up the volume.

Do I know you from somewhere?

Many of the first brats to be found were the boys of NZ Service High School, Woodlands 1976/1977. 

Why? 

Because i only had the 1976 school magazine by my side at the computer and because well, the girls get married and change their surname don't they?

So the first intake were predominately males along with a few females who were not married or were still known by the male brats and were told about the site.

It was so exciting to check my email to see who had come along next.  People i hadn't seen for almost 30 years who had remained the teenagers that they were in the photos on the pages of that school magazine.  

I wonder if anyone who grew up in the same town, suburb or city knowing the same people all their lives, can imagine and understand what it was like for us who grew up feeling as if we never really new anyone or any place.  

And no one really knew us.

We have no understanding of their type of life either, but we thought about it.  We tried to imagine what it would be like..didn't we.

When in my early 20's i settled down and started to feel some sense of community where i was living.  The first place i'd lived in for more than 3 years.  I made some good friends and i got used to my surroundings and daily life, but i never got used to the concept of people knowing people.

Walking with a friend we would pass someone in the street and they would casually comment that the person passed was someone they knew from primary school.  I would stop and gasp.."you knew them in primary school?! as in when you were a kid? why didn't you say hello to them???"  a look of strange uncertainty from them would follow after my reaction.  They couldn't see what the big deal was and would shrug then go on to tell some stories of that persons life that someone else had told them.

Amazing!

Friends had the same Doctor for years, even since birth.  Corner store owners knew them by name and would ask after their parents, sisters and brothers.  Old Mrs Corner shop lady would say 'I remember when you were a little tacker coming in every week to spend your pocket money on 10 cents worth of mixed lollies".

They showed me locations, such as a park or a skating rink, as we walked or drove by and tell a story of a particular incident that happened in their childhood.  There, right there, they would point. 

Wow!

The friends who cared to ask about my curiosity for something they found quite normal would be told that i didn't know what it was like to be feel so familiar with the people and surroundings in my area.   I hadn't stayed still long enough to experience it.

So the kids in the photos of my trusty old school magazine from 1976 came to life as they found their way to the group.  All grown up with families of their own and stories of their lives since the printing of that magazine.

John Terewi, John and Colin Murphy, Rip (Ruapeka) Rogers, Dean Rennie, Ross Fearon, to name but a few.

I knew them, i knew the things of Singapore they remembered, our other classmates and Teachers.  I knew the places they were talking about when they talked of playing handball at school.  The school or Tengah disco's we went to, the Fernleaf where everyone swam in the pool, hung out at the tables and the night we all first saw 'Jaws' on the white brick wall of the hostel used as a screen with the scary water of the pool under it in the dark.  (if you were there that night, you know exactly what i'm talking about)

And..they were able to pass on the whereabouts of others from our time in Singapore because they had kept in touch over the years, ran into them or they served in the NZDF as their Fathers had.  If they didn't know each others exact location, they had a fair idea and a phone call or two was only needed to track them down.

These boys, our Soldier Brat Boys as i call them, (i have nick names for all groups and groups within groups to do with Singapore brats if you haven't already noticed)  are an integral yet hidden facet of Australian and New Zealand Military Brats of Singapore. 

I'd like to tell you why i know this to be so....another day.

The Changi Brats

Three people played an important part in the beginnings of this story,  Andrew Baumback, Glen Mooney and Jon Anda. 

The aussie brat, the kiwi brat and the kiwi consulate brat who had seen it all.  

Three very different people with three different reasons and three different perspectives.

They may be surprised to read their names here, they may not, but it is here i feel i must acknowledge them because i want to.

Many people have asked me over the years, what made you think to start the group Jo?

my simple answer to that question is - Because there wasn't one.

    

Did i think i should be the one to do that? 

No.  

Did i think i could be the only one who could do that? 

No.

The long answer to the question is given in my entries to this blog and congratulations (and thank you)  if you have stayed with me through it thus far.

Come back with me for a little bit to schoolfriends.com.au where i found the first brat who was also seeking others who lived in Singapore for a brief but happy time of their life.

As i have already stated, that site didn't have an option to select our schools of Singapore back then.  I wrote to the sites administrators and explained and others must have too because before long there was an option to add a school not listed on the site.  

I quickly got to work to follow the prompts and added 'Woodlands High School, Singapore'. Embarrassed to say i did not yet remember the actual name of the school 'NZ Services School, Singapore.  Over time i checked to see if there were other entries of Australian or New Zealand Services Schools and there was.

Changi Brats.

Changi High School, Singapore or ANZ Services School, Changi.

I get some strange looks when i'm waffling on to my civy friends about the Singapore brat group and referring in particular to the Changi Brats.  Changi? as in Changi Prison?  

Thats what Aussie's and Kiwi's know about Changi isn't it, where the POW's of WW2 were kept after the Fall of Singapore. 

Well, the Changi Brats for us are the ex-dependents of Australian and New Zealand, predominately Army, some Airforce and even fewer, Navy personal. 

Their Fathers, therefore the family, were posted to Singapore and the school they went to was in Changi. This was during the years 1971 to 1973.

A time cut short when the then Australian Prime minister, Gough Whitlam and his Labour Party, cut defence spending and the Australian contingency had to pack up and go home.  Some families were only part way through their 2 year posting.  Sorry folks, party is over time to go, just like that.  The name Whitlam is a dirty word within the Australian Brat community, and i can understand why it would be.

I sent a message one of the Brats listed under Changi High, registered at Schoolfriends.com.au , about the site, the now defunct yahoo one.  I think it was Gill Pennock. It could have been Rosie Cornwall and Steve Jones too.  I do remember that they contacted one another to make sure they knew about the site.

My initial idea for contacting them was to learn more about what came before us.  The Singapore they knew of in the early 70's.  I didn't think they would be interested in the site too much, after all, it was then filled with mostly the memories of mid 70's brats who came after.  But they came, they saw and they stayed.  

Changi Brats, as they know they are affectionately known to me as, have a special place in the Brat part of my heart.  

Why? well, I'll leave that story for another day, but in the meantime i made another video especially for them. 

The first sighting of a male/boy in the video is none other than Steve Jones, one of the more  well known and much loved Changi brats of the group.  

Enjoy.

Do you Remember..

I took a short break from writing the background story to this blog, the beginnings of reuniting ANZ Military Brats of Singapore, not only because its a long story (and can't be told any other way - i've tried) but also because i wanted to try something i've wanted to for a long while.. create a wmv, a video.

I heard Paul Anka's song 'The Times of your Life' for the first time again after many years while the newly created brat group was beginning to grow and the song took on a new meaning to me.  It wasn't just a hit song which was released in 1975 (coincidently the year we arrived in Singapore) nor that it was the song used in the Kodak ad.  It was because it fitted how i was feeling at the time, it resonated and struck a chord within.  

The video, my first attempt, is very amateurish and won't mean much to those who didn't experience what is seen in the photos.  It is a creative way to express when words just won't do.

It is only for us who do remember ... because we want to.  

I hope you enjoy it as much as i did making it.